Learning to be Happier

August 24, 2022

“Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.”

-Omar Khayyam

Optimists generally report having a happier life, believes Tali Sharot, professor of cognitive neuroscience at University College London. In a 2012 TED Talk, she spoke about how 80% of the population are hardwired towards an optimistic bias. People within this majority view their own talents, family, and futures with a generally positive slant.

Positive Thinking

Positive thinking can set you up for success. Sharot says, “Optimism changes subjective reality. The way we expect the world to be alters the way we see it. But it also changes objective reality. It acts as a self-fulfilling prophesy. Lowering your expectations will not make you happy.”

Optimism is related to and leads to success. If we expect the future to be promising, stress and anxiety are reduced.

Is it possible to learn optimism?

YES!

What you tell yourself will play a large part in how you feel about yourself, your abilities, and the rest of the world. Dr. Alex Lickerman, a physician and former director of primary care at the University of Chicago says, “The mere act of not settling for the first explanation (‘I failed the test because I’m stupid’) but challenging yourself to look for alternative explanations (‘Maybe I failed because I really didn’t study hard enough.’) tends naturally to lead to more optimistic explanations.”

Reframing

Can you reframe , in a positive way, how you look at situations? Try it and see how you feel.

I like to refer to reframing as ‘looking for the good’ in everything. For example, instead of ‘It’s too hot!’ change your thought to ‘It’s a great day for staying inside and reading.’ or ‘It’s a beautiful day to go swimming!’

It’s like practicing gratitude!

Have a terrific day!

Ann

Dragonfly Books and Art

This Book Won’t Make You Happy. Feliciano, Niro. 2022 (contentment is more satisfying than happiness; acceptance, gratitude, connections, self-compassion lead to contentment)

Being Happy: You Don’t Have to Be Perfect to Lead a Richer, Happier Life. Ben-Shar, Tal. 2010 (theory and tools to help you accept life as it is not as you think it should be)

Being Happy: Even When You Don’t Get What You Want. Lake, Gina. 2017. (getting your heart’s desire not your ego’s desire)